random ramblings.

today is random rambling day...

my son and i is not feeling 100%. we've been having asthma attack for quite sometime now. so last monday we went to see a lung specialist @ Damansara specialist hospital. As for my son he went to see pead but specialized in chest/lung. i can't say that the visit is all plasant, i was kinda...i mean we were kinda shocked by what my son's doctor told us...or rather lecture us on.

1stly he ask all sorts of question on what he eats "does he eat anchovies? crackers?chocolate? instant noodles?soy sauce? bla bla bla" then he explained that for most reason his patients illness are caused by allergy of food. he even showed me the chemicals breakdowns of preservatives or what not which i was not exactly paying much attention as i was still kindda in a stunt. its not that i don't know that nowadays our food is becoming poisonous to our body...mmmm how should i explain its the way that the doctor 'explained' to me is what got me a little bit agitated you know...its like he is implying that i purposely feed poison to my children and it is i that caused the illness for being ignorant about the commercialization of food or what not that eventually is taking a toll to our body.

he was like "if you love your family feed them with love care of what you feed them with its not just about HALAL but the best of HALAL food (makanan halal yang terbaik)" i just froze there...its an insult for one although that he is right but he can say it in a more civilized way you know what i mean? then he went on saying that my son/children should avoid eating :
- colored food and drinks
- canned food
-canned drinks
-colored chocolate
- yellow noodle (due to the high boric acid content)
- anchovies / ikan bilis
- belacan
- cencaru
- msg
- instant noodles
- instant food and drinks
- all sorts of soy sauce
- fast food
- vitegen
- yakult
- chickens
and the list went on and on...when he said that my son can't eat chocolate my son's eyes watered instantly then he went on saying that no vitegen or yakult too instantly my son was crying his heart out coz that was all his ultimate favorite food. the doctor say all the above have high preservative and additives which caused all sorts of allergies.

he highly recommend us to go ORGANIC or as ORGANIC as we can be. and that somehow pisses me off... i know that he's right i do but for the whole thing he didn't know me or my family to be accusing me not feeding my family with LOVE...he didn't do that we do try to be as organic as we possibly can but that is just impossible to live 100% organic because we tend to want or have to or eventually eat some of the above...

ok lets face it ORGANIC stuff is EXPENSIVE...and for us thats not within our monthly budget. and for the record we only drink ALKALINE or MINERAL water (we have the machine for this), NEVER drink R.O because its acidic in nature. we try to avoid drinking carbonated drinks whenever we can...we i mean I don't use MSG/ajinomoto in my cooking for more than 4 years now ...you can see all my recipes have NO MSG included. and just lately i have my very own herb garden i even grow my own water spinach! we do try to eat as healthy as we possibly can but it seems not enough...

and no soy sauce???? how is that???? most of our cooking revolves around soy sauce one way or another...its just crazy to just avoid everything...like this you might as well starve coz almost everything have additives and preservatives. and why is ORGANIC is even expensive you don't use pesticides (no cost there), feed the chicken with normal chicken food (supposedly be easier to find and cheaper) no antibiotic shots for the chicken (no cost here)...

*screams out loud* as a cook, this is a challenge...crazy challenge...the truth is that i can't live with out SOY SAUCE full stop. is there such thing as organic soy sauce??? argh....*bangs head on the table* and 'natural chocolate' what is that? what does it mean? never heard of it...

luckily my doctor (not my son's) is a more gentlemen and told me that just try my best to avoid those things and that he knows that is almost impossible to avoid everything. and what i've been doing is already in the right track. that had actually put a smile back in my face. although he gave me the bad news that my asthma is getting serious and that i must pay extra attention to it. i need alot of rest and take my medication regularly.

mmm...i know that my asthma is getting fierce lately coz i haven't been able to sleep, i have that short of breath accompanied with that chesty cough argh its horrible. and with all of that i feel more and more tired even during the day i just feel like sleeping in you know?...and i am not those person who sleeps a lot or take a lot of naps. sometimes i feel like my body is falling apart i can no longer second guest my body...i am a person who can just feel what my body wants and need when i just listen to it (am i making any sense?)..i have some kind of 6th sense about my body health...for example; i know that i'm pregnant even before i check that i'm pregnant, and if its just a regular cold i can just self heal with some home remedies just by listening to my body. and now i can't...and its scares me.

i sound like a lunatic i know but thats just me, i'm special that way. am i really falling apart? or even worse am i dying?...thats a scary thought...honestly that's what i've been feeling...dying...probably due to the shortness of breath feels like dying..i don't know may be i'm lacking or Oxygen in my brain *lol*

nvm about that i've got stronger medication now and it does helps a little but still having the wheezing and fatigue but not as crazy as before. follow up check ups in 2 weeks it should be OK.

sorry that no recipe in this entry i just feel like rambling away today, plus i don't have any mood to do anything fancy with all the restrictions... but for tonight i do plan to make seafood broth. i shall post it in a future entry.after my hearty pick me up porridge/congee entry which i will post soon...or which ever come first...